Due to my pending divorce, I am forced to live in a shanty of a house that belonged to my grandparents. I actually love this old house. It holds most of the happy memories of my childhood, not that there was many. Anyhow, I only have window air conditioning in the bedrooms. I decided to scour Craigslist today to try to find a good deal on one. Well, I did. It was in a really bad neighborhood in Knoxville. Naturally, I had nobody to go with me, which is typical. (I am the guy that jumps at an opportunity to help others though.) I really felt like I needed someone to watch my back, but alas, nobody to depend on, so it was me and my Marine Grunt swagger, a .45 on my seat and my .357 in my waist. It came to my mind on my return trip home that I honestly believe I am more scared of living than dying. I am scared of living alone the rest of my life. Going in that neighborhood, ready for anything really made me feel alive though. My senses were on full alert. I was back on my a-game just like when I was in the Corps. It was all for naught though, but it was good to feel “alive” for that short 10 or 15 minutes while we did our deal. My house is cooler now if nothing else.
"why dont you just give him a chance"
idk because im not physically or mentally attracted to him and ‘but he likes you’ or ‘but hes really nice’ isnt going to change the fact that im not interested
Damn, I don’t think women know how much that really hurts
Heard this more times than I care to remember.
I am currently working on my bachelors degree. I should graduate in May. It’s just a Business Administration/Organizational Management degree, nothing cool like engineering or nothing like that. I decided at 48 years old to get my degree so I could become a nursing home administrator. My wife (soon to be ex-wife now) is an RN. She is in nursing home management, so naturally, like a loving husband should, I wanted to have more in common with her, so I started this shit.
Now that her and I are no longer together, I doubt I’d ever want to be a nursing home administrator anymore. I am currently in the maintenance field and have been for 20+ years. I’d kind of like a career change but I know maintenance and I have been moved up into maintenance management and expect to go even higher in it.
Now for my dilemma. I know it sounds silly but here goes: I love tattoos. I have a few but want more badly. Living in the part of the country I do, and I know for fact, I did a research paper on it, having visible tattoos can hurt my prospects for ever getting an “executive” type of job if I ever decide to make a career change. Sleeves on my legs are going to happen when I financially recover from my pending divorce, but I want sleeves on my arms badly. I know this seems like a very stupid topic but it is something I carry around and eats at me daily. Go for it or not?
One would think that Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off, every other week would be great. I’m sure it would be if I had someone to share that time off with. Saturday night was probably the best night I had in years but it didn’t last nearly long enough. I worked my second job yesterday for 5 hours, then I came home and hung new light fixtures in my brothers shop and helped my cousin unload some furniture. There is always someone around, but that does not fill a void that a significant other can fill. Today I will probably be completely alone unless I decide to work my second job again this evening or go out to my brothers shop this evening. Some days I hate even waking up. At least work gives me purpose. Work fills a void to a degree, but it’s still not a hand to hold, a pretty smile, a soft touch or gorgeous blue eyes to look in. FML I hate being alone.
'55 Chevy 150
I’m pretty certain this is a car my brother, some friends and I built for a local customer.
myheartonthefloor said: Thank you for the note. Be careful with your heart on tumblr. It is not a clear place, and it can be cruel. I don't write for a living but thank you for the compliment. I work retail, haha. Goodluck and keep writing
Thanks for the advice. I kind of see what you are talking about although you are the only person to ever respond to anything I have ever written, lol. I handle cruelty fine, I was a Marine, it’s just love that tears me apart. Thanks so much tho. You should definitely look into writing. You have a knack. MikeI think I told you I’m writing my autobiography. I used to be a maintenance tech for Amazon, so I learned a little about all they offer. It just so happens they have a self publishing service. If I ever finish my book, that’s the route I’ll take, even if I just sell it through the Kindle platform for 2 or 3 bucks.